ROLL UP... ROLL UP FOR 'THE BEST SHOW'.... IN TOWN

Last season under the Big Top, we were happy, we were sad  but mostly we were astonished!

Ticket sales had been dwindling and the Circus was losing money.

Ramondo the ringmaster, former lead clown and escapologist, had been told the act was stale.

His stars had stopped twinkling, more boos and hisses than whoooooos and kisses!

What a grumpy dumpling he was as he introduced the new crowd pleasers........

First came the cast of a younger dynamic act...hoorah!

A troupe of acrobats with exciting moves to thrill the crowd.

Magnificent Mattreido, dazzling Denflossy and  wonderful Walrusco!

Oh how they performed, rapturous applause from the audience, expectations running high.

Mattreido, talented equilibrist, with a feat of extraordinary daring - he could do the job standing on his head!

On came the old timers, 'Crackpot's Clowns'; Pimplerumpskin, Pattycake Hogwash and Dippy Diabolo.

But they were ridiculously outperformed, the rancid repartee and the tumbling tomfoolery lacked lustre.

'El Santo', scallywag strongman (so strong he lifts spirits) a gallant horseman to boot, 

trotted into the arena with a cavalcade of feisty fine mares.

On his seasoned grand stallion (I can't remember his mane but his pace is familiar),

the revelling rascal razzle-dazzler performed tantalising tricks and amazing feats of bravery.

The show diversified with the introduction of the fabulous 'Fizzing Fitzy‘, a psychic conjuror!

The exuberant crowd gasped in anticipation...Would he pull the rabbit from the hat or would the spotlight startle it first? A brief intermission...............

Time to give Ramondo a wave goodbye as he made like a banana and split! 

Perhaps he will fulfil his dreams in another fairytale Circus ? Perhaps somewhere like Scamalot!

Yippee!....Michelangelo a new ringmaster and human cannonball to sculpt the future of the show.

The job is a blast he's landed on his feet but, oh dear....

Still the same  lion tamer and former contortionist, 'Tyshoo‘, with a performance not to be sneezed at,

her cast of cackling bureau-cats snarling and leering at the crowd and up to the same old tiresome tricks.

The ringmaster was clearly impressed with the  performance of Fitzy the psychic conjuror.

Tickets sales had soared and there was revived interest in the Circus.

The atmosphere was dynamic and then, in an instant ............drama ensued....

Ringmaster Michelangelo, had let the cat out of the bag,

he was under attack by Tyshoo and her spitting wild cats, Medusa and Tabbycat,

they clawed at him relentlessly – it was a cat-astrophy!

But, oh what fun for the disgruntled 'Crackpot's Clowns' who joined in the fray!

Michelangelo, forced into a corner wounded and scared,  ran into the lions cage.

The audience were bamboozled, more gasps of anticipation...was it all part of the act?

Fizzing Fitzy's act was frazzled and fizzles out, he didn't see that coming!

Some so alarmed by the whole performance demanded a refund. Once again, the seats were empty. Michelangelo blamed Mattreido for somersault. 

Pimplerumpskin, Pattycake Hogwash and Dippy Diabolo threw custard pies at Mattreido,

but the custard didn’t stick and there was no laughter.

All that was left was the 'elephant in the ring'.

Too wounded to go on, another ringmaster left the tent, the human cannonball - let off before he was fired!

As swiftly as a squeeze of a water filled plastic flower, the Crackpot  Clowns took centre stage.

"The show must go on“....

with guidance  from Ramondo the retired ringmaster (found sitting in the cheap seats).

But past sideshow acts Scotnoballs, Randy and Larrylooshair were nowhere to be seen.

Ramondo so missed his old tricks and the clowning around,

would he offer himself up to the CCC ('Crackpot's Clown Company') ?

Would he sue the circus.. funfair dismissal ?

Alas, tickets sales were still down, things were looking grim,

so Ramondo called on an old act who's covered for him in the past -

 Jenninferno a smouldering fire-eater with a burning desire to set the place alight.

But Jenninferno was not prepared to jump through hoops to enamour any audience.

She brought along an entourage of performing seals (honk, honk)

The seals were fed so much fish they were clapping their own performance which really started to stink -

they were imbeseals!

Mattreido and his acrobats with their vibrant act continued to draw a crowd -  still no seal of approval.

The clowns gained momentum in their masquerade costumes made from poly-jester.

Telling silly stories outside of the tent but, beware.......

behind one of those painted smiles, was a trained knife thrower.

As Mattreido grabbed hold of precarious hanging ropes he turned to the Bar in a fine trapeze stunt. 

Dippy Diabolo fumbled a tumble attempt and rolled out of sight.

Tension was mounting and into the tent strutted Sensational Simmo - the sword swallower,

who brandishes a blade so shiny, even he was in ore of himself.

Another temporary ringmaster stepped in to the breach, all hail the new man 'Grayarea'.

So, would he be the one to pull a rabbit from the hat or just a grey hare?

Magnificent Mattreido was challenged to entertain high up on the tightrope...but wait...........

silence and a drum roll.......there was no net...it was freefall!

Savage sourpuss Medusa, waited below for Mattreido, she was after a well balanced meal !

The amazing acrobat made it across to the other side, the crowd went wild! 

In an instant, Pimplerumpskin got a little too close to Jenninferno the fire-eater.

His tricks were far too old school and his rainbow clown wig was now ablaze, oh what a hot head!

Poor Pimple retreated with serious burns on his unicycle with training wheels

(not before his hat made its way into the ring for a collection)

and that folks is when the elephant in the ring became the star attraction.

In a final performance the last clown clung to the acrobats as they carried out a freefall formation swoop.

Pattycake Hogwash hung on, frightened he might miss the target. He felt a bit funny!

In an attempt to put out the fire, Jenninferno burnt her own fingers, by this time the heat was in-tents. 

Sensational Simmo the sword swallower gave the performance of his career.

The atmosphere was cut with his sword on the rebound from severing democracy

as he brought down the curtain to close the show.

WHAT’S NEW FOR THE 2015 SEASON                 

As a small army of performers go off to Karno's Circus School, others  go out to pasture. 

Newcomers will enter the Big Top  to audition for a place in the ensemble.

Enter Jimbo the Juggler,  possibly  the best this side of South Perth.

Picked from the talent pool, from his glowing resume it would seem he's never dropped one!

Jimbo appears well practiced at perfecting the art of juggling balls. 

So how do you kill a circus - you go for the juggler!

With KPI's (Karno's Performance Indicators) set, can he pull it off within six months?

If not...........Sensational Simmo may fall on his sword!