HERE COMES A TWIT! (And a face-to-face Facebooking with Mamamia.)

Greetings Voters

There’s chaos on Capitol Hill,

The Premier’s spending $80,000 on a new memorial to his greatness at Parliament House. It’s called Barnett’s Burger-Grill and Karaoke Bar.

I’ll sing my favourite “It’s Raining Men’ to the cheers of the Coalition and the jeers of Mark McGowan’s mob. They’re a tough audience.

A few weeks ago the Premier visited York with his Minister for Tourism tee-shirt on. Now he’s working out how to promote York’s rubbish dump as a visit to ‘SITARAMA-WORLD’ (the tip trip of a lifetime).

 Also, how to stop a tourist bus from getting embedded in a tree trunk along the Great Southern Laneway after narrowly avoiding a collision with a Sitarama dump truck.

Using his Mandarin name of Col  Bar Nett, the Premier recently visited China………..that’s China Town, Perth, to announce  a $30 million funding for Perth Events only.

Therefore York’s exciting events will continue to be watching the sun rise and then set 11 hours later.

The CEO of Tourism Western Australia, Stephanie Buckland, was an architect of ‘Experience Perth’ (but don’t go anywhere else because you’ll get lost and Perth’s Parmelia Hilton Hotel won’t be able to trash your Amex.)

Now she’s pulled the pin, preferring to deal with people with dementia, instead of politicians.

It’s rather sad really. Another four of the Premier’s advisory team have jumped ship and disappeared over the Rabbit Proof Fence. Maybe it’s his deodorant?

How’s this for local government transparency. The Mayor of Perth, Lisa Scaffidi will have to sit before SAT (then roll over and pretend to play dead). We can all rely on the honesty, integrity and probity of SAT and a spanking with a feather duster.

Now what have I been up to- you ask nicely?  Well, there’s ..............................and........... .................... of course………………..that includes…………………………a low hanging fruit pluck…………...then I’ll .....................  dollars ........................... in my electorate.

I’m no longer mother of my own press releases and I’m not happy about that Jan! They have to be co-authored by Barnett, Nahan, Holt, Redman and anyone else who can spell their own name.

Now here’s a bit of ‘Hot-Goss’! The West Australian Newspaper has been ringing up all its home delivery subscribers asking them if they’ve got a computer, iPhone or tablet.

You can bet your empty letter box that in the near future your cocky will be tearing his feathers out because he can’t read the cartoons on the bottom of his cage and it will be a lot harder to light the fire.

Not only will you be getting a newspaper without news, and paper, you will have to pay an online
subscription fee to “The West” and also to your own internet service provider, if you’re lucky enough to have one.

Or you can watch Channel 7’s new epic, ‘Kiss, Bang, Love’ where two contestants, wearing blindfolds, stick their tongues down each-other’s throats instead. I can hardly wait! 

Now if you see me wandering along, slightly lost, please return me to my electorate of Central, Hay, Barley, Oats, Canola………..ahhhh………….something with a Belt in it?

THE ADDRESSES ARE C/O THE OLD TOWN HALL, MITCHELL STREET, MERREDIN WA 6415, or NORTHAM BOULEVARD, FITZGERALD STREET NORTHAM WA 6401. A SUBSTANTIAL REWARD IS OFFERED.