(A Facebookies long odds on Mamamia’s
re-election chances and those of the YRCC Tavern)
Dearest Constituents- HAVE YOU READ COL’S POLLS & THE YRCC FINANCIALS?
Colin Barnett is apparently as popular as a malaria tablet in a mosquito swarm, a bacon sandwich at an ISIS barbeque and meningitis at Elizabeth Quay Water Park. In fact, right now, he’s the least popular Premier in the whole of Oz.
For eight years some of you silly Sandgroper’s think that he’s been tossing taxpayers bucks around like he’s a local shire council and there’s no tomorrow.
That’s not true. You’ve all been living off the fat of the land. In fact times are so good we’ve had to double the width of the seats at your new Perth Sports Stadium to encompass the luxuriously expensive, expansive spread of your ginormous barge-arses. (And some shire councils have had to double the amount of your rates to compensate for all the good times you’re having.)
Yet you seem to feel there is a poverty stricken tomorrow and the buck should stop with C.B. Just like you may feel the buck stops with the Shire of York regarding its poverty stricken tavern.
Let’s just say that the Shire can forget any attempt at a promotional ditty like “it’s fun to stay at the YRCC” by the ‘Village People’ of York, as it would only strike a very sour note.
Now back to the allegedly empty cupboard. The poor old Treasurer, Mike Nahan, probably wishes he hadn’t given up his US citizenship and has been down at the US Consulate trying to get himself a ‘Green Card’ because you’ve all been so nasty about the up-coming $40 billion debt.
But there’s no truth to the rumour that despite the fact that Col’s superglued himself to the Premier’s chair, the not-so-smiling assassin, Lisa Harvey and Dean Nalder, the one with the large ‘Medicare Gap’ between his teeth, may both wish to un-glue him.
Anyhow- not my problem- my Wheatbix voters. Yet there’s nothing like the smell of a fresh exsanguination when there’s political blood-letting in the air in a coagulating Coalition caused by so many clots.
My political philosophy has always been to use a good hairspray, good makeup, look good, do as little as possible and join as many community groups as you can.
Oh, and I do like spending Royalties for Regions funding on Mr. Barnett’s ‘low hanging fruit’. (I’m hoping he means good grapes for a decent Chardonnay.)
Now, barflies, let’s get down to some tavern talk, pub chat and front bar gossip about the York Re-Creation & Collapsing Centre. If it’s not re-created, it’s going to collapse.
Sorry York Shire, a tavern with a conference room was never going to be a licentious licence to entrap the punters as the main watering-hole and community centre for a SEAVROC dynasty.
What we Nationals gave you was around $ 2 million in Royalties for Regions funds. What you did, I’m told, was serious collateral commercial damage to local businesses and ratepayers by building a rapidly fading faux-crystal chandelier sports temple to socio-economic ignorance.
Not my fault!
Yes we need top quality facilities for sport which is the fabric of rural communities and of course
a team of well-oiled footy players- “Yummmmmmmm girls’. And if you’d let me shake my fab cocktails behind the bar you would have had a conga-line from the YRCC to St. Ronan’s Well. (I was going to send my CV to the YRCC but have thought better of it.)
Unfortunately, despite the fact that the Tavern Licence was arranged as a voter bribe just before the last election by good old Tuck Waldron, the then Minister for Racing and Gaming (and liquor) it’s time to bid farewell.
Yes the Tavern Licence must go or your financial viability will!
No there’s no Royalties for Regions funds or state government handouts as a quick fix and once again, it’s not a Nationals problem even if we did toss you a few bucks to get the calamity on the road and gave you the Tavern licence.(So some tough love is now the only answer.)
When good old Tuck’s liquor licensor, Barry Sargeant, was queried on how come a government agency could be allowed to own a commercial enterprise in competition with privately owned businesses, the answer was there’s no legislation stopping us- so we can.
Barry’s still there despite the fact that he took a three-day trip to Macau paid for by the Crown Perth Casino and the Tavern’s still there despite the Shire’s inability to run it successfully.
So what is Mamamia’s advice to the Shire of York? (Maybe cash-crop the YRCC carpark with medical marijuana- just joshing!)
No- it’s what I say to my staff- you’ve got till the 30th of June or the next election to clear up this mess, whichever comes sooner and- no excuses. I’m sure York’s waiting for the end result of your Major Strategic Review and it better be good.
Now just to show my multiskilling, I’ve written a pome.
It’s sort of like The Destruction of Sennacharib by Lord Thingy-me-bob.
(But about the future of local government in Australia.)
The decision came down like a wolf on the fold
they acted swiftly, the planning was bold
nineteen town councils they did readily smite
nineteen councils disappeared overnight
No choices given to many old towns
their Shires disappeared in the name of the crown.
Dearest Constituents- HAVE YOU READ COL’S POLLS & THE YRCC FINANCIALS?
Colin Barnett is apparently as popular as a malaria tablet in a mosquito swarm, a bacon sandwich at an ISIS barbeque and meningitis at Elizabeth Quay Water Park. In fact, right now, he’s the least popular Premier in the whole of Oz.
For eight years some of you silly Sandgroper’s think that he’s been tossing taxpayers bucks around like he’s a local shire council and there’s no tomorrow.
That’s not true. You’ve all been living off the fat of the land. In fact times are so good we’ve had to double the width of the seats at your new Perth Sports Stadium to encompass the luxuriously expensive, expansive spread of your ginormous barge-arses. (And some shire councils have had to double the amount of your rates to compensate for all the good times you’re having.)
Yet you seem to feel there is a poverty stricken tomorrow and the buck should stop with C.B. Just like you may feel the buck stops with the Shire of York regarding its poverty stricken tavern.
Let’s just say that the Shire can forget any attempt at a promotional ditty like “it’s fun to stay at the YRCC” by the ‘Village People’ of York, as it would only strike a very sour note.
Now back to the allegedly empty cupboard. The poor old Treasurer, Mike Nahan, probably wishes he hadn’t given up his US citizenship and has been down at the US Consulate trying to get himself a ‘Green Card’ because you’ve all been so nasty about the up-coming $40 billion debt.
But there’s no truth to the rumour that despite the fact that Col’s superglued himself to the Premier’s chair, the not-so-smiling assassin, Lisa Harvey and Dean Nalder, the one with the large ‘Medicare Gap’ between his teeth, may both wish to un-glue him.
Anyhow- not my problem- my Wheatbix voters. Yet there’s nothing like the smell of a fresh exsanguination when there’s political blood-letting in the air in a coagulating Coalition caused by so many clots.
My political philosophy has always been to use a good hairspray, good makeup, look good, do as little as possible and join as many community groups as you can.
Oh, and I do like spending Royalties for Regions funding on Mr. Barnett’s ‘low hanging fruit’. (I’m hoping he means good grapes for a decent Chardonnay.)
Now, barflies, let’s get down to some tavern talk, pub chat and front bar gossip about the York Re-Creation & Collapsing Centre. If it’s not re-created, it’s going to collapse.
Sorry York Shire, a tavern with a conference room was never going to be a licentious licence to entrap the punters as the main watering-hole and community centre for a SEAVROC dynasty.
What we Nationals gave you was around $ 2 million in Royalties for Regions funds. What you did, I’m told, was serious collateral commercial damage to local businesses and ratepayers by building a rapidly fading faux-crystal chandelier sports temple to socio-economic ignorance.
Not my fault!
Yes we need top quality facilities for sport which is the fabric of rural communities and of course
a team of well-oiled footy players- “Yummmmmmmm girls’. And if you’d let me shake my fab cocktails behind the bar you would have had a conga-line from the YRCC to St. Ronan’s Well. (I was going to send my CV to the YRCC but have thought better of it.)
Unfortunately, despite the fact that the Tavern Licence was arranged as a voter bribe just before the last election by good old Tuck Waldron, the then Minister for Racing and Gaming (and liquor) it’s time to bid farewell.
Yes the Tavern Licence must go or your financial viability will!
No there’s no Royalties for Regions funds or state government handouts as a quick fix and once again, it’s not a Nationals problem even if we did toss you a few bucks to get the calamity on the road and gave you the Tavern licence.(So some tough love is now the only answer.)
When good old Tuck’s liquor licensor, Barry Sargeant, was queried on how come a government agency could be allowed to own a commercial enterprise in competition with privately owned businesses, the answer was there’s no legislation stopping us- so we can.
Barry’s still there despite the fact that he took a three-day trip to Macau paid for by the Crown Perth Casino and the Tavern’s still there despite the Shire’s inability to run it successfully.
So what is Mamamia’s advice to the Shire of York? (Maybe cash-crop the YRCC carpark with medical marijuana- just joshing!)
No- it’s what I say to my staff- you’ve got till the 30th of June or the next election to clear up this mess, whichever comes sooner and- no excuses. I’m sure York’s waiting for the end result of your Major Strategic Review and it better be good.
Now just to show my multiskilling, I’ve written a pome.
It’s sort of like The Destruction of Sennacharib by Lord Thingy-me-bob.
(But about the future of local government in Australia.)
The decision came down like a wolf on the fold
they acted swiftly, the planning was bold
nineteen town councils they did readily smite
nineteen councils disappeared overnight
No choices given to many old towns
their Shires disappeared in the name of the crown.
The NSW Government decided to choose
Local Government the victim, nineteen councils’ did lose
too many council’s all over Australia
much too much funding and too many failures.
The coffers are baron, unlike in the past
so many more councils will be unable to last.
These are bad tidings, bearing grief and dismay
reductions must happen in WA
the last bastion, council numbers are greater
shires removed from the map, much sooner than later
amid crisis in funding, fusion, merger, blend talk
is one shire oft mentioned, the old Shire of York?
Local Government the victim, nineteen councils’ did lose
too many council’s all over Australia
much too much funding and too many failures.
The coffers are baron, unlike in the past
so many more councils will be unable to last.
These are bad tidings, bearing grief and dismay
reductions must happen in WA
the last bastion, council numbers are greater
shires removed from the map, much sooner than later
amid crisis in funding, fusion, merger, blend talk
is one shire oft mentioned, the old Shire of York?
COPYRIGHT
LORD BYRON & MAMAMIA DAVIES MP/MD (that’s my initials, I’m not a Doctor.)
I was taught at a very young age - never trust a person with a gap between the front teeth.
ReplyDeleteCol is old enough to remember the Swan River used to lap Mounts Bay Road passed W.A's. iconic Bernie's Hamburger Bar, around behind the southern end of W.A. Newspapers building.
ReplyDeleteLink: http://www.panoramio.com/photo/5420728.
In the 50/60's the River was filled in, truck after truckload of landfill creating a new foreshore and bringing it much closer to South Perth. Move forward to 2015 and the State Government disturbs some of that landfill to create Lizzie Key water park and up comes bubble and trouble that has been percolating away for 50 years!