WHO GIVES A RATS?

It is an idyllic scene captured in a photographic image- featuring lush green grass with the stylized rocking horses of a children’s playground in the background.

Hang on, OMG is that a massive rat in the foreground, as dead as the leaf next to its nose?

Actually even more dead having passed the pallor, algor, rigor and livor mortis stages, it is now appears putrefied, almost petrified.

An accurate colloquialism is that it is totally ‘cactus-f--ktus.

Located at the southern end of Avon Park said Corpus Rattus Rattus is just a toddler’s hop, skip and jump from a see-saw.

It is just as close to a crematorium, otherwise known as a public barbeque.

So how did this 30 cm long beast end up at York’s ‘grey nomad’ Mecca?

Did it gorge itself once too often in a gourmet lunch bar otherwise known as an overflowing rubbish bin?

Was that last mouthful of stale crepe-suzette one gobble too many?

Or has the Shire of York finally, yet secretively, hired a Youth Officer, formerly employed as a Pied Piper in Hamlin Town?

I suppose dead rat soccer, hide and seek the rat or forensically examine and name the genus science experiment for first term will keep the kids off the streets.

Who knows? The rat isn’t saying anything!