THE SIMPSONS (Episode 2015, titled “The Jolly Best of Luck”, based on a true story.)

The Simpsons is a Local Government farcical, cartoon character comedy set in the fictitious town of Springfield, which is actually the Shire of York.

Graeme Simpson stars as Homer, the feckless Acting CEO of the town and Tony Simpson, as the Local Government Minister Mr. Burns, the archetypal, political villain who loathes Springfield and its citizens,

There is Brad Jolly as Bart Simpson, the ignorant brat who thinks non-compliance means probity and James Best is Waylon Smithers, Mr Burns’ Local Government Commissioner ‘love child’ who comes to Springfield to teach its miscreant citizens a thing or two.

Episode 2015 is based on the formal release of Freedom of Information documents requested by some citizens of Springfield concerned about the size of Waylon Smithers pay-check compared to what he was actually up to.

Originally, Homer was asked if Mr. Smithers was double dipping, being paid $63,933.72 as Commissioner and then $39,000 (Inc. GST) as a consultant who had also brought his Hames Sharley ’Ouija Board’ to summon forth the spirits of visioning and the poltergeists of ideation?

Homer’s answer was ‘yep’ for the cost for both the consultant mumbo-jumbo and the Commissioners Fees.

That is actually both a ‘yep’ and a bit of a ‘nope’ Homer.  

It is now known that the Tax Invoice (WA) 010321) from Hames Sharley for Smithers’ Review of Springfield Local Planning Strategy was for $39,000 with $36,000 going to Smithers.

But, the official Springfield Credit Payments Listing for the payment to Hames Sharley for the Review of Springfield Local Planning Strategy was for Tax Invoice (WA 01030 (wrong invoice) and for $41,775.53 (wrong amount.) Now that is $2,775.53 worth of funny business.

The Credit Payment Listing also suggests Mr. Smithers was paid $13,200 per month, which over a six month period, works out to be $79,200, with an additional $8,000 allowance for Springfield ‘sleepovers’.

Springfield also paid $19,000 in legal fees in this time. Normally you do not have to pay for lawyers if you have done nothing wrong.

Adding up the cost of Smithers monumental achievements, over a six month period he left Springfield close to $1 million poorer.

So this is what makes The Simpsons so much fun to watch.

Then ‘gasp’ we find that Smithers may not be Mr. Burns love-child after all.

Homer tells Springfield that Mr. Burns wanted a commissioner and a trainer/mentor to bring Springfield into line.

A very grumpy Mr. Burns responds to Homer, telling him that neither he or his Department of Local Government and Communities approved or endorsed additional payments to be made to Mr. Smithers to undertake either community visioning or council training.

Also, that Homer better tell this to Springfield or else, because he lied to its citizens.

However you have to give it to Homer. He turns around and effectively calls Mr. Burns a liar, reminding him of his initial letter of instruction indicating that Mr. Smithers had been given a dual role carrying out the duties of the Council- and training.

Whether you believe the words of a either a politician or an Acting CEO depends on how far you can hurl a 5,000 kg elephant. Then Bart, one of Mr Burns’ favourite brats, puts in his two cents worth.

This is because as Executive Director, Sector Regulation and Support, Bart regulates nothing, supports nothing and had probably just had one of Mr Burns’ shiny Florsheim’s embedded between his buttocks because of his retarded efforts.

Initially Bart had been in it up to his eyebrows in Springfield, introducing Waylon Smithers to Homer in January 2015.

Bad brat Bart told Homer that Smithers was a jolly well qualified consultant in community visioning and both he and Mr Burns would support Homer in hiring Smithers to be both the Commissioner and a community vision consultant.

Later Homer gets a few guffaws from the audience when he makes the understatement of the year that from then on Bart ‘was very quiet during the whole process’.

It appears that Bart forgot to tell Mr. Burns about his sanctioning Homer to do the dual hiring. Then has the audacity to infer that he had never suggested that Smithers be hired, and paid extra, as a consultant.

Regarding Bart, you can believe what he tells you for the distance you can toss a Boeing 747.

Timing is an integral part of comedy and Burns and Bart had let all this visioning, training bullshit fester from January 2015 to September 2015 at an extremely expensive laugh a minute, and after Smithers had already left Springfield.

The big joke is that all this not so funny comedy of errors occurred when Springfield did not have a council because according to Mr. Burns, it had made too many errors. Now that is the biggest laugh of all and makes Mr. Burns look even more stupid.

Credits roll
David Taylor

Now you can read the FOI documents.